I recently read an article that suggested that introverts struggle with self-love much more than extraverts do. And it’s not too surprising. Society praises the extraverts, the women who talk a thousand miles an hour and those who are always up for after work drinks. When you’re the awkward girl who never quite knows how to makes small talk, it can be hard to feel cool.
Us introverts are often perfectionists, overthinkers and highly sensitive. Traits that mean we constantly compare ourselves to others and feel like we come up short. We grow up thinking we should be louder, have more fun at parties and emulate our extraverted friends.
But being an introvert is nothing to be ashamed of and it’s certainly not something you should want to change.
If you need a boost of self-love, I’ve got some tips that will help you feel loved up and confident.
I bet you spend a lot of time in your own head. Although you’re introverted surprisingly your inner dialogue never stops running. That voice certainly has a lot to say (you should have at least said something in that meeting today, how hard is to speak up? How long is too long to wait to return a phone call? Look how much fun everyone had at the bar last night – you definitely should have gone) but it’s not always right. Learning to change that inner dialogue is key to increasing your self-esteem.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative, think something positive instead. Praise your uniqueness, appreciate all the details you see while sitting back, know that you have a beautifully calm energy, and be grateful that you know how to make yourself feel truly happy.
When you’re not good at small talk or when you feel out of place in large groups self-doubt can quickly set in. But I’m sure you’re awesome at talking with your bestie or that you’re known for being the woman who’s not afraid to get deep and meaningful. And I’m certain you’re also the person that people turn to when they want to feel truly heard. You’ve been blessed with traits that other people admire and struggle with, and those parts of you definitely deserve to be loved.
A huge part of self-love is honouring your boundaries and needs. I don’t think being an introvert is an excuse to never go out, to say no to every social situation or never put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. But it’s certainly ok to spend some time at home with your couch, Netflix and a good book.
When you need a few hours of alone time to recharge and restore, honour that need and don’t feel guilty for doing so.
As introverts we tend to keep things to ourselves. We don’t tell people what we’re working on and often we don’t celebrate our achievements. If you’ve recently been promoted or signed a few new clients, that should be celebrated.
Own your self-worth and acknowledge your achievements. And celebrate however you like – maybe it’s a coffee date with your partner, a bottle of champagne and a movie at home, or a night out with the girls to your favourite small bar.
Self-love is always a work in progress but once you’ve started it’s hard to stop. There’s no need to try and be like anyone else, you’re amazing as you are. Revel in your introverted nature and really own it. I love the quiet, awkward, sensitive parts of my soul because they’re a huge part of what makes me who I am.
What parts of your personality can you start loving and celebrating today?