Learning to Love Your Introverted Self


As an introvert, your relationship with yourself is the most important. When we stop worrying about what others are doing and put our energy into strengthening this relationship, we can have more freedom and peace of mind- even if we find ourselves going against the grain of what seem socially popular or trendy.


We live in a society that’s overloaded with information and ‘me centred’, almost to the point of narcissistic, it’s hard to focus on what matters. Even though introverts generally gain energy from time spent alone, this can be confusing when we’re often not naturally drawn to expressing and sharing that far and wide.


The general trends we see – especially on social media definitely don’t alleviate this confusion or social pressure to always be on show, or display our self love in an open way. It can be intimidating if you think you have to show off about loving your body. Maybe being more introverted, you don’t want to constantly post selfies, gym pictures or pictures of your body. It may seem that if you’re not showing off your body and what you look like all the time, then you don’t love yourself.


This isn’t the case at all.


There are lots of alternatives out there to help you find your own way to express gratitude and love for the skin you’re in (even if it’s just privately).


Here are some ideas to get you thinking about how to do this for yourself:

// If you don’t want to post a selfie or a picture of your body, then you don’t have to. It’s only if you want to.

// Spend some time journaling about your body and see how you feel about yourself. You can also journal to see what kind of food your body wants to eat and what exercise it needs.

// Find exercise that suits your needs. You may choose to avoid busy gyms and instead do exercise that helps them such as walking in nature, working out one to one or doing yoga.  

// Ground yourself and protect your energy from drama and negativity to help you zone into your own needs and desires.

// Set boundaries with others if they are encroaching in your personal space.

// Say no to certain social occasions or if friends and family are always dropping in or leaning on you for support and it knocks your energy, then you can say no to always being there for them.


It’s not a selfish thing but it’s more a priority of putting yourself first so you can help others in the long run. Maybe you feel anxious or nervous about this, but it’s a really good way of making sure your health doesn’t suffer and practising self love in your own private way.


As they say on the airplane, put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others. This is true for anyone, but especially true for introverted types.


Build relationships with people who understand you as an introvert or that you feel comfortable communicating your needs to. Surround yourself with others who are more introverted and can give you support and accountability. You also know then that you’re not alone.


Let go of worrying about what others think of you when you go out into a group setting. If you feel like engaging in the group conversation, you can and if you want to retreat then you can also do the same.


It’s all about loving yourself and accepting who you are. You are enough and you don’t have to pretend to be an extrovert if that’s really not you at all.


Many introverts can fear that they will be ridiculed or made fun of for not being the life and soul of the party but everyone has a different personality and releasing those blocks and limiting beliefs from the energy system can help you. You stop caring what others think of you and you can show up as you are.


The key to loving your body and yourself is to release your limiting beliefs and blocks and reprogram them with positive beliefs.


You can do this by any type of energy work. I use muscle testing to release the blocks but many people try energy healings such as Reiki or Hypnotherapy.


By letting go of the self criticism and beating yourself up, you’ll feel more kindness and compassion towards yourself.


Be yourself and love who you are.



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Kerri O'Loane is the Self Love Queen who is completely passionate about women loving their bodies and themselves. Kerri has been published in countless magazines and publications including The Huffington Post, Sivana East and Women's Health and Fitness. Kerri loves yoga, fitness, energy work and spirituality. She is holistic in her approach to helping others physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Kerri loves travelling the world, friendships and coffee.

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